Wednesday, July 6, 2011
I am in a bit of a transition period right now. I have been jumping back and forth between churches since I started college, and I think I am finally starting to find my place. For the last couple of weeks Sarah and I have gone to The Church at Brook Hills (and I went there some during school as well). I am glad that I can worship and talk about God with my best friend. I think that Brook Hills is a really good place for me. I just needed a change. I have always followed in my parents' footsteps and am now at a point where I want to make my own decisions and form my own opinions. I feel so much more alive when I go to Brook Hills. I actually learn things instead of hearing the same monotonous sermons over and over again. The church is a breath of fresh air, and I can feel that its members really have passion for God and His people. It may be difficult to figure out who to go to church with once Sarah goes back to school, but I would love to continue attending Brook Hills. Honestly, I am a little worried about changing churches. I miss going out to eat with my parents for Sunday lunch and I am afraid that I will no longer be included in activities with my friends from GVBC. But I have come to realize that these are risks that I need to take. I need to step outside of my comfort zone and attend a church where I have a meaningful encounter with Jesus every single week. I believe that Brook Hills is where God wants me to be because He is so prevalent there. Last Sunday, Pastor David Platt preached on abortion. It is a sensitive subject (and one that I have always enjoyed debating) but I think that he handled it beautifully. He talked about those who are to blame for abortion, why the Bible says abortion is wrong, and what ALL of us need to do about abortion. I am going to transition to something a little more personal here because it has been weighing on my heart recently. I have a hereditary disease called Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. It has many side effects but perhaps the most significant is that it causes low fertility or infertility. Sometimes I feel like I have been cheated because I feel that (when the time is right) I want to have a baby more than almost any woman I know. And, quite honestly, I have never been content with the idea of just being a mother. I want to carry my baby for 9 months. I want to nurture a baby that I gave birth to. I am not afraid of pregnancy at all, in fact, I look forward to it. So the thought that I may not be able to have a baby has been haunting me since I found out that I have PCOS. But when I heard Pastor David's sermon on abortion last Sunday my wants changed a little. I realized that I could love ANY child as my own. I could give life to a child that might otherwise be aborted, neglected, or abused. This thought gave me hope. I am hopeful because I know that not all women could love any child, but God has given me that ability. Adoption is what I can personally do about abortion. I know that it will be several years before I become a mother, but this is something that is so incredibly important to me, and I am thankful that I now feel less fearful of what lies ahead.